Why is Dining Out Legal?

Last night at Pappadeaux, as I sat eating blackened catfish with a side a fries, I wondered, why is eating out legal?

The fish was swimming in butter and the fries, well, are fries. Now this is a rare treat for me and I am overall very healthy. A meal like this comes along once every other month or so. But the freedom to decide what I was going to eat for dinner resulted in a very bad choice. The government could have made a much better decision for me and I would be healthier for it, not to mention the collective consequences of my decision (medical costs).

Why are Democrats letting people eat out for dinner when they could be at home enjoying tofu and brussel sprouts?

Then there's the environmental impact, "...your diet has a direct impact on the environment." All that fossil fuel used to catch and ship fresh seafood. The environmental impact of building and running that restaurant; criminal!

Thankfully, the catfish I ate last night doesn't yet have the ability to sue me. But it's just a matter of time.

After I was done increasing health care costs, destroying the environment, and participating in murder, I got the bill. I realized, not many people could afford a meal like this even for rare occasions. Not really fair is it? Social and economic justice demands a distribution of fine dinning experiences but sadly there's no government agency to facilitate such a redistribution. Yet. Maybe Obama can appoint a restaurant Czar?